Matt Striker as the show opens: "We are capsized in the wake of perhaps the greatest Wrestlemania of all time!" HA! Whoever wrote that should win a friggin' Emmy.
We open the show with everyone's favorite nerdy cool guy, artist formerly known as ECW GM Teddy Long. Theodore announces that he will move to Smackdown to be the GM there, and that Tiffany replaces him as the interim WWECW GM. Who's Tiffany? Another cookie cutter blond diva, but that's not really important because she looks good in a business suit.
WWE Minor League/ECW Champ Jack Swagger interrupts, and he's looking sharp in his pinstripe suit. I like Swagger, he's solid on the mic and in the ring, and has a ton of room to grow. I think he's a future superstar. The two go back and forth about the upcoming draft and Swagger's opponent for Backlash. Tiffany's not horrible on the mic, I'll give her that.
Speaking of the draft, you know who needs to come to not-ECW? The Brian Kendrick. He got a mild push last year, and now he's kind of faded away. Bring him and his bodyguard to faux-ECW, maybe put the strap on him, let him develop more as a singles guy. Orrrr, pair him up with Ezekiel Jackson and actually build a tag team division. Oh wait, I forgot that Vince hates tag teams and therefore we fans should just forget they even exist. Silly me.
But seriously, move Kendrick over, ship out Mark Henry to Smackdown or Raw. Then you have Kendrick up against the likes of Miz, John Morrison, Evan Bourne, DJ Gabriel, Tyson Kidd and Swagger. That's some good, skilled, young guys right there. And while we're at it, move Christian to a big show and bring in Sim Snuka, who's sitting around doing nothing, or Dolph Ziggler.
Six-man tag action up next, Miz, Morrison and Tyson Kidd vs. The Colons and Evan Bourne. It seems as if the WWE is actually trying to build a tag rivalry between The Colons and Miz & Morrison. But where are the other teams? Cryme Tyme, Hawkins & Ryder, Legacy members Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase, Jesse & Festus, Kendrick & Jackson -- there's plenty of teams out there, but they just don't get used (you can even finally bring in DH Smith, son of British Bulldog Davey Boy Smith, and pair him with Kidd and form a new Hart Foundation). It's ridiculous.
Bourne gets the pin and the win with the always incredible to watch shooting star press. Again, a very well fought match between these teams... you know what, I've already ranted on the sad state of the tag division. But, speaking of Bourne, why is there no Cruiserweight Title? Oy.
A couple of vignettes recapping Raw and the Hall of Fame ceremony. By the way, why didn't they show the entire thing? It only got an hour Saturday night, and we only saw the induction of Ricky Steamboat and Steve Austin.
Main event time, with the beginning of the "championship chase" for the eCW title. It starts with this fatal four-way match between Mark Henry, Christian, Finlay and Tommy Dreamer. The wrestler that gets pinned or submits will be eliminated from contention. The last man standing at the end of the chase will face Swagger for his belt. Not sure where they're going here. Christian and Henry should be on bigger shows, Finlay and Dreamer are at the end of their roads.
Finlay wins by cheating once again (does he ever win clean? Worst face ever), pinning Henry after hitting him with the shillelagh. Henry is eliminated, show over, yadda yadda yadda.
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