A Raw review, for you

I got a Monday night off, so I figured I'd do a little WWE Raw reviewing.

Now, I'm gonna recap the show, then add my conclusive thoughts at the end.

We open with new champ Batista, who won the title from Randy Orton last night in what I hear was a horribly boring match. He yammers on about destroying Legacy, Orton interrupts, Legacy comes out and beats the shit out of Batista, and does some serious damage to his arm. Orton walks out with the belt as Batista gets taken to an ambulance with a "serious arm injury."

Strong opening, definitely leads to some intrigue as to where they're going with the show.

Next up was a very solid match between US Champ Kofi Kingston and William Regal. I friggin' love Regal, incredible ring worker, and solid on the mic. Good match overall, with Kingston winning. Good result, because lately they've made a habit of making "underdog" champs, where they get squashed in non-title matches, but win their title matches. I hate that. Unless you're building an angle for a new contender, the champ should go over.

There's lots of potential for a strong mid-card on Raw. Kingston as the top mid-carder with the US Title, then followed by guys like Chavo Guerrero, Santino Marella (should they ever put him back in serious matches), Regal, Matt Hardy and The Miz.

Next there's a backstage segment where Orton proclaims he's invoking his rematch clause, regardless of Batista's condition.

Boring Diva match next, which means I spent the five or so minutes going to the kitchen, going to the bathroom, checking the Braves game, and imagining what the Divas involved (Maryse, Kelly Kelly, and Mickie James on commentary) look like naked.

Raw GM Vickie Guerrero confirms what Orton said, saying that if Batista can't answer a ten-count, Orton will be awarded the title. Then says she has a huge announcement coming up. Oh dear lord.

Maryse and The Miz have a segment backstage. Miz plays the douche bag, Maryse talks in French and looks damn sexy. Next.

Next there's a six-man tag match between Team Wasted Talent (Goldust, Santino and Festus) and Team THERE SHOULD BE A FUCKING CRUISERWEIGHT DIVISION YOU FUCKSTICK VINCE MCMAHON! (The Brian Kendrick, Chavo and Jamie Noble). Some shit happens, I die a little inside watch TBK and Chavo waste away in stupid storylines, and Hornswaggle somehow continues to still get TV time.

John Cena vs. The Miz is up next... wait, really? We're actually gonna get this? Oh, nope, we're not. Big Show comes out and beats the ever living shit out of Cena, then Miz gets a chair and knocks Show around and lays a few good ones on a beaten Cena. Hmm, interesting.

MVP vs. Matt Hardy follows, and it's about as decent a match as it could be with Hardy's hand in a cast. MVP continues his push on the mic beforehand, saying he deserves to be in a title match next week on the "3 For All" three-hour special Raw -- where every brand's title will be defended. Cool.

After that Vickie comes out and talks about some shit in her annoying voice. Then, in perhaps the best thing creative has done in a decade, she QUITS. This receives the biggest pop all night, naturally. Now Edge's music hits, and out comes the Rated-R Superstar. He talks about his request for divorce at the PPV last night, then follows it up by telling Vickie he only married her for power, blah blah. He reinforces his request for a divorce, Vickie shrieks.

Maybe they're actually gonna turn Edge face now. I mean, Edge dropped the belt to Jeff Hardy last night, who then lost it to CM Punk after Punk cashed in the Money in the Bank. Punk could go to his heel character, the straight-edge-holier-than-thou guy. He could have a feud with Hardy, demeaning his shady past, then feud with Edge -- because it's fucking obvious: Rated R vs. Straight Edge. Here's hoping Smackdown goes that route.

Back to Raw. Cena is interviewed backstage, says some shit about Show and Miz. Whatever.

Next is a tag team match. Wait. Seriously? Holy fuck. The Unified Champs, The Colons, take on Priceless. If Priceless wins, they get a title shot. Excellent, finally. Great match between the two immensely talented teams, with Priceless winning after DiBiase hits the Dream Street (good move, great name for a finisher) on Carlito. Priceless will get a title shot.

Out comes Orton for the alleged match with Batista for the strap. He talks some shit on the mic, then the bell rings and the ten-count begins for Batista. They get up to nine when an ambulance is shown returning on the screen. The ref halts the count, saying Batista has returned. Back to the screen, and it ain't the Animal, it's The Game! Triple H comes out, sledgehammer in tow, beats DiBiase and Rhodes on the ramp, then heads towards Orton in the ring. Trips drops the sledgehammer, and gets in the ring and tangles with Orton. They beat the crap outta each other, with HHH eventually getting the upper hand. Show ends when HHH pedigrees Orton on a chair in the ring.

Solid show, some good matches and three big storylines (Batista injury, Vickie quitting, HHH return).

So, I guess that means the WWE Title is vacated? Or technically Batista is still champ? Well, anyway, Batista is about to take time off for a triceps injury. Thing is, they knew this before the PPV. So why the fuck did they put the belt on Batista knowing they were just going to take it off? Dumb.

Randy Orton is getting the shaft. Remember when he won the Rumble and started Legacy? He was a driving force, compelled to win the title and fulfill his destiny. Then Wrestlemania came around and despite the excellent build-up, HHH won anyway, only to have Orton take the title the next month in a stupid six-man tag. Orton always gets squashed by faces, and it's retarded. Why can't he just beat them and hold the title? Why can't this be the Age of Orton, with all the faces chasing him? It's dumb booking, plain and simple.

Orton and Legacy need to have a dominant period on Raw. Have Orton get the belt, have Priceless get the tag team belts. Have them dominate. That way, when the right time comes for a face to take the titles, it will go over in a big, big way. Yes, Orton need to take heel shortcuts every now and then. But his build up to Mania was flawless, and has sadly been thwarted since then.

On the return of HHH... personally, I want him to turn heel again. He is such a sensational heel. However, it doesn't work right now. Orton is the top heel, and he ain't turning face anytime soon. Batista just got injured, so he's going away. Cena is involved with Big Show and Miz. HBK is still on break (for now). HHH needs to be the top face on Raw. All the more reason Orton should've kept his title and the Age of Orton needs to happen.

OR... the new GM (dream wish: the return of Eric Bischoff. Won't happen, sadly, and I honestly don't know who's gonna come in as Raw GM) vacates the title. They then announce a 8-man tournament for the WWE Title. Now, the next PPV is the Great American Bash on June 28th. That means you can have the four first round mathces next week, then the two semifinal matches the following Monday, then the WWE Title match at the Bash.

Participants? Orton, HHH, Cena, Show, HBK (a big return for next week), MVP (continuing his main-event push), Miz (to further the angle with Cena), and a wild card like Matt Hardy or William Regal. Personally, I'd (again) want to put the Age of Orton into full effect. Or, it would be nice for HBK to get one more title reign in his career.

Unfortunately, this seems too logical for WWE creative, and the strap will likely end up on HHH before long. Rinse and repeat.

Other WWE notes:

It sucks that Ken Kennedy was released, but he really does need to work on keeping himself safe and keeping others safe. He'll go to TNA, hopefully sharpen his skills (and maybe even boost that company), then come back around to WWE down the road.

Just read that Umaga was also released. No idea why, this one is outta left field. Granted, he ain't been the same without Armando Estrada (long lost is the art of the manager). I'm sure he'll end up in TNA too.

I've never bought a WWE DVD, but I have a feeling I'm going to start with the new Macho Man set coming out. I was a big Macho Man fan growing up, and it should be awesome nostalgia.