So now, back to basics: my unbridled, uncensored, sometimes to-the-point, other times rambling, labyrinthine thoughts on precisely what this was meant to be about: livin'. L-I-V-I-N.
One of the most beautiful things about life is that I learn something new every day. So, I impart some lessons I've learned upon you:
- Happiness is a sunny afternoon, the open road, windows down, with an autumn breeze.
- If you're a guy and feel you have too many clothes and need to rid yourself of some of them, but just can't seem to part ways with that old t-shirt from college, become single. Being single is the easiest way to shrink your wardrobe. Why? Because women are thieves, plain and simple. I love women, and I wish not to anger them, but they will steal your heart during the night and steal your Alabama Feels So Right 1982 Tour shirt the next morning.
- Football is a cruel mistress. On Saturday, your college team can absolutely dominate it's opponent and proclaim itself the best team in the nation. On Sunday, your pro team can fall behind, fight hard and come all the way back, only to lose because a guy who gets paid SIX FUCKING FIGURES TO KICK A GODDAMNED BALL can't do his job.
- This Crackberry will be the death of me.