Monday, November 02, 2009

Random thoughts

At least a quarter of the driving test should be dedicated to proper driving in a parking lot. Parking lots are petri dishes of idiocy. I'll provide a sample question.
When waiting for someone to pull out of their parking space, you should:
A) Turn on your blinker
B) Flash your brights to alert the person that you are waiting for them, and will allow them to pull out safely.
C) Pull too close to said person, sit there, do nothing, block traffic and talk on your cell phone with your sorority sister about how you probably shouldn't have slept with the random frat dude from the Halloween party you thought was totally hot and edgy in his Dick in the Box costume, but a dick is a dick and he wasn't gonna give you any STD your don't already have.
D) A & B
I already mentioned this via Twitter (look left), but it needs to be reiterated: any bar who can not indulge The Dude and serve a good Caucasian should have it's alcohol license revoked. Unfortunately, there wasn't a fucking beverage here, man.

I was randomly surfing the net the other day, and stumbled across the trailer for Star Wars: Episode 3 in an article on Paste. It got me to thinking about something that should be a crime: making an incredible trailer for a relatively disappointing movie. It happens all to often, and really isn't fair to the consumer. Look, it's one thing to get your big box office from the masses who just wanted to be mindlessly entertained. It's another to trick us good movie-loving folk into seeing your crapfest. If you're gonna make a bad movie, show it in the preview, a la the recent G.I. Joe movie. With that in mind, here are some of the worst offenders I can think of:

Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith

This exchange is just chilling:
"Lord Vader."
"Yes, master?"
"Riiisseee."
Then we saw the movie, and the only chilling feeling we got was that of being violated for a third time by George Lucas.

Spider-man 3

"All that he loves will be threatened by what he will become." Translation: "Say hello to Emo-Spidey!"

Terminator: Salvation

Who knew someone could out-Michael Bay Michael Bay?