Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Reality TV: The apocalypse is nigh

Sorry, guys. This is another post stemming off another recent frustration. I promise I’m a fun-loving person that laughs a lot, but when something pisses me off, it’s just fun to write about.

I recently sat down to watch some TV, and after watching enough of Tosh.0 to dumb-down my intelligence, I came across host Joel McHale of The Soup on E!. I thought to myself, how talented he must be to use such lewd behavior and dim-witted humor to inflate his own ego by demeaning others. That’s true talent right there. On the other hand, it just is to him.

But just when I thought I've seen it all in terms of entertainment, something comes along that is so polluted and shockingly abysmal that it makes me plan for the arrival of the Mayan apocalypse, because seriously, we are going down faster than the Dallas Cowboys.

I’m talking about reality TV’s latest nightmare: “Bridalplasty.” The first preview has been unleashed to the public as, what I like to call it, the most insidious template for rat-bag behavior.

The quick pitch is "Bridezillas" meets "Extreme Makeover.” Throw in the host, Shanna Moakler, breast implants and bitches, and you have the worst piece of reality trash to hit the airwaves since “The Swan.”

I’ve read before that Moakler said "women will love it" for its inspiring stories, like brides who receive implants after breast cancer. The only implication I understand from this so far is that any show that promises to be, in the words of the producers, "the only competition in which the winner gets cut" is likely to be said in praise of Satan.

The show is executive produced by E! host Giuliana Rancic and production company 51 Minds, the folks who have to answer for such popular train wrecks as "The Surreal Life," "Rock of Love," and "Megan Wants a Millionaire."

Mind you, “Megan Wants a Millionaire” was a show best known for contestant Ryan Jenkins, a domestic abuser who went on to murder his ex-wife before committing suicide.

I do like Rancic, and I’ve even watched a couple of her cutesy, little episodes of her own reality show. The last episode I watched, she had a miscarriage at an early stage of pregnancy. She was questioning if God had punished her. All I will say is that maybe God wants you to focus on a child instead of creating a show based on the downfall of humanity.

Let’s take a reality check. A show like "Bridalplasty" does not exist to make young women's dreams come true, nor does it exist to celebrate the universal spirit of competition, like an Olympics of boob jobs. It exists because, people, like myself, are going to hate it.

If you don’t hate it, have fun assaulting your intelligence and being mesmerized by these D-grade wannabe-actors cavorting about fake boobs and a surgically-enhanced, symmetrical face.

Which part is sadder: The fact that there is an audience for this show, OR that there are women willing to participate? I don’t even think I’ll be able to sit and drink and point and laugh through this one.

Again, sorry for ranting and raving, but this show says something none too pretty about its creators that can toil up the most obnoxious elements of reality shows and spit them into a new format.

But hey, this is actually good news for those of us who despise trash like this. Why? With so many people committing themselves to this farcical garbage, it leaves a relatively small percentage who prefer to do something to improve their knowledge and intelligence.

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

My Political Mini-Rant

People of Facebook/Twitter: save your breath and quit all this whining and bitching about elections not going your way. Politicians are all the same, regardless of what side they're on. Repubs and Dems are the same thing: lying, blindly loyal puppets who only care about the issues that lobbyists pay them to care about.

What you should bitch and whine about is the American political system, and how it is -- and has been for quite some time now -- completely and utterly BROKEN. The two party system is an archaic practice that only leads to name-calling and finger-pointing, and ultimately accomplishes very little, if anything at all. Thus the saying: talk is cheap.

Until the system is broken down and reformed, the Right will always complain about how we're losing our morals and going to hell and it's all the Left's fault; and the Left will always complain about... well, everything, and blame it on the Right.

Each side is only concerned with pushing their own policies and beliefs, and neither is concerned with what they should be: working together to do what is in the best interest of the United States of America.

Thank you, that'll be enough political talk for me until 2012. RMFT, beat LSU.