Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Reality TV: The apocalypse is nigh

Sorry, guys. This is another post stemming off another recent frustration. I promise I’m a fun-loving person that laughs a lot, but when something pisses me off, it’s just fun to write about.

I recently sat down to watch some TV, and after watching enough of Tosh.0 to dumb-down my intelligence, I came across host Joel McHale of The Soup on E!. I thought to myself, how talented he must be to use such lewd behavior and dim-witted humor to inflate his own ego by demeaning others. That’s true talent right there. On the other hand, it just is to him.

But just when I thought I've seen it all in terms of entertainment, something comes along that is so polluted and shockingly abysmal that it makes me plan for the arrival of the Mayan apocalypse, because seriously, we are going down faster than the Dallas Cowboys.

I’m talking about reality TV’s latest nightmare: “Bridalplasty.” The first preview has been unleashed to the public as, what I like to call it, the most insidious template for rat-bag behavior.

The quick pitch is "Bridezillas" meets "Extreme Makeover.” Throw in the host, Shanna Moakler, breast implants and bitches, and you have the worst piece of reality trash to hit the airwaves since “The Swan.”

I’ve read before that Moakler said "women will love it" for its inspiring stories, like brides who receive implants after breast cancer. The only implication I understand from this so far is that any show that promises to be, in the words of the producers, "the only competition in which the winner gets cut" is likely to be said in praise of Satan.

The show is executive produced by E! host Giuliana Rancic and production company 51 Minds, the folks who have to answer for such popular train wrecks as "The Surreal Life," "Rock of Love," and "Megan Wants a Millionaire."

Mind you, “Megan Wants a Millionaire” was a show best known for contestant Ryan Jenkins, a domestic abuser who went on to murder his ex-wife before committing suicide.

I do like Rancic, and I’ve even watched a couple of her cutesy, little episodes of her own reality show. The last episode I watched, she had a miscarriage at an early stage of pregnancy. She was questioning if God had punished her. All I will say is that maybe God wants you to focus on a child instead of creating a show based on the downfall of humanity.

Let’s take a reality check. A show like "Bridalplasty" does not exist to make young women's dreams come true, nor does it exist to celebrate the universal spirit of competition, like an Olympics of boob jobs. It exists because, people, like myself, are going to hate it.

If you don’t hate it, have fun assaulting your intelligence and being mesmerized by these D-grade wannabe-actors cavorting about fake boobs and a surgically-enhanced, symmetrical face.

Which part is sadder: The fact that there is an audience for this show, OR that there are women willing to participate? I don’t even think I’ll be able to sit and drink and point and laugh through this one.

Again, sorry for ranting and raving, but this show says something none too pretty about its creators that can toil up the most obnoxious elements of reality shows and spit them into a new format.

But hey, this is actually good news for those of us who despise trash like this. Why? With so many people committing themselves to this farcical garbage, it leaves a relatively small percentage who prefer to do something to improve their knowledge and intelligence.

1 comment:

T.D. said...

Excellent rant. I loathe most reality TV, but like most Americans I do watch a few shows, namely the Real World/Road Rules Challenges. But at least those involve athletic competitions.

Not that reality TV ever had a high point, but it definitely jumped the shark (and then crashed, blew up and landed in a pit of rattlesnakes) when a Chappelle's Show skit mocking the reality TV genre was actually turned into a reality show (Chappelle's "Trading Spouses" spawned not one, but two shows of the same ilk).